PLAYMATES

people are born self-centered, but as they get older, they start to learn about the world that surround them. then their viewpoint shifts from selfishness to selflessness. well, probably not everyone can outgrow being self-centered that's why there are still lots of immature and narcissistic people.

as for xander, we encourage him to interact with other kids so that he'll learn how to share, to take turns, and to be a friend. hopefully, at his young age, he'll soon realize that it's not always about him. and although he has a wonderful personality, there are numerous wonders outside his world that are worthy to be explored.

TONIGHT'S DINNER: MONGGO WITH LIEMPO

my mom went to ilocos today and she called me up this afternoon to say that she bought us bagnet and longganisa.

i suddenly craved for monggo with liempo (because of the bagnet).

hoping to be the perfect housewife, here's what i did...

my first ever mung bean dish. it's starting to simmer...

crispy liempo and oh so bitter fresh ampalaya leaves (background)

yum!

the chef-wannabe in her christmas apron.

honestly, it was bland at first. i forgot to add seasonings (duh!). good thing, my hubby rescued my dish and suggested to add 4 tablespoons of fish sauce (whew!). thanks dadimi! love you!

it's now a-ok!

BACK TO THE FUTURE

where's xander?

DAYS BETWEEN ALL SAINTS DAY AND CHRISTMAS DAY

today is all saints day, but we didn't go to the cemetery to visit my dead loved ones. i was just telling my husband the other day how much i miss my lola and my dad, but i'm not like most people who are eager to visit their beloved's grave. then he told me, "namimiss mo sila nung buhay pa sila, hindi yung patay na..."

it's true. right now, i somehow dread the days that are to come before christmas. i simply have numerous christmas memories with my dad and inang. and whenever i remember these, i feel a twinge somewhere deep inside of me, knowing there will be no more...

my dad used to work for a bank, so days before christmas, he would usually bring home boxes of oranges and apples, hams, and a lot of gifts given by his clients. he was obviously loved by his colleagues and clients. and everything that he received, he would share to his family. my sister and i usually received money from him for christmas. i remember one time i asked a budget from him so i could buy a pug; i didn't get a puppy. i do not know where the money went. either my mom kept it or i misused it.

anyway, the first 18 christmases of my life were spent in bulacan with my paternal grandparents. christmas day became our time for family reunion. when my dad got sick, we stopped going there. and as a natural occurrence in life, when the head of the family dies, the family gradually disperses.

my inang died two christmases ago (this will be the second christmas) and my dad, this will be his 4th. now that the matriarch is gone, and so is my dad, i would have to create new christmas memories for myself and my new family. no more traveling through the north expressway with my dad driving. no more old woman greeting me with a big tight hug. the scent of christmas air, christmas carols from our village kids, christmas songs played on the radio, the christmas hams and fruits, the musical christmas lights and green and red decors, the rush, the gifts, the mass, the new clothes, the laughter, stories, and bonding moments. my dad and inang, they won't be there anymore.

my dad in wheel chair, during my sister's med proper graduation

my inang, outside our bahay kubo in pampanga

MY BOYS

my boys and their toys

laughter, excitement, happiness. strength, comfort, inspiration, hope. morning kisses and tight hugs. happy thoughts, good memories. my love, my life and my world, my boys... 

WE BECOME WHAT WE THINK

"for as he thinks within himself, so he is" Proverbs 23:7

FREE TO SOAR

"the secret of living a life of excellence is merely a matter of thinking thoughts of excellence. it's a matter of programming our minds with the kind of information that will set us free.

free to be all God meant us to be.

free to soar!"

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

thanks to Ann for this yummy biscotti from Bacolod

finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.

Philippians 4:8

THE HEART OF A MOTHER

me, mom, sis

"the heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you always find forgiveness." - Honore De Balzac

i would consider myself as the black sheep of the family since i only have one sibling and because i think highly of my sister. well, i have never given any migraine-causing problem to my parents. the worst, alarming problems that i could think of are the times when my high school teacher wrote in my card that i have inferiority complex (really?! what was she thinking?), when i was spending more time at church than at home (i somehow regret this because i should've spent more time with my dad...i know God would understand), and when i crashed Mc onto a truck and the fender was scraped off (geez..really my fault, i was such a bad driver. but the money for repair came from my own pocket). 

anyway, my mother would always tell people that i'm such a daddy's girl. this, plus my attitude, probably contributed much on how i respond and treat my mother. whenever she says something, i always find something wrong with it. when i'm in a different mood, i would just keep quiet and act as if i'm not listening... (very childish of me). there are more examples of how rude i am to her but i'm too lazy to write them here. you may conclude that i am her real life antagonist. 

But despite my attitude towards her, i just know she still loves me... so much. i don't tell her "i'm sorry" every time i hurt her. i just know i am forgiven without a word. so now, i want to treat her more lovingly. change my attitude towards her. be more patient. you know, before it's too late. we could never tell when our mortality will be upon us.

although she's never a perfect mother (and i was never a perfect daughter, her perfect kontrabida possibly!), i could say she did everything for us and gave all that she could as she and my dad raised us. she's generous and forgiving. she has a funny and sometimes annoying sense of humor. 

i love her and i'm so sorry for all the pain i've caused her. and i hope to bring more happiness into her life from now on. :)

THE RIGHT ATTITUDE

God made me the way i am and put me where i am to do what He has planned for me to do. i don't wait for my situation to change before i put my heart into work. it's called "blooming where you are planted."

Joseph: A Man of Integrity and Forgiveness

A CAN-DO ATTITUDE

can you spot the bee?

according to the theory of aerodynamics, the bumblebee is unable to fly because the size, weight, and shape of his body in relation to the total wingspread make flying impossible. being ignorant of these scientific truths, the bumblebee just goes ahead and flies anyway.

From Great Attitudes

HOW'S YOUR ATTITUDE?

take charge of your mind and emotions today

• the single most significant decision i can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. it alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope
• my attitude is a direct reflection of what i think, which in turn affects how i respond to others
• Philippians 2:1-2 "If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose."
• there is encouragement in the Person of Christ. there is love. there is also plenty of "fellowship of the Spirit" for the Christian to enjoy. likewise, affection and compassion.
• Paul is telling us to take charge of our own minds; clearly a command
• we Christians have the the God-given ability to put our minds on those things that build up, strengthen, encourage, and help ourselves and others. "do that!" commands the Lord.
• reject those alien thoughts that make you a petty, bitter person.
• let your life yield a sweet, winsome melody.

From Great Attitudes

GOD'S TRAINING MANUAL

at this point in time wherein my mind is filled with insecurity and jealousy, i was led into buying new books by Charles Swindoll. the moment i browsed through the pages, i knew that they're for me. then there was a spark of hope that this mentality, which had been clouding my idle mind lately, would disappear and evolve into something practical.

like a perfect plan written by God, here i am reading the first message of Great Days with the Great Lives. God has been patient with me all this time. it's been a year since i last had my quiet time; and now i wonder what has been happening to me. why have i lost my zest for life? why am i unhappy? (deep inside i know it's not about being a full time mom or my family because i love where i am and i'm so thankful for my family. it's something else...)

well, here's the answer. i've been away from my source of life. i've been distant from God, and i have not read His Word, the Training Manual, ever since... just look how dusty my Bible is.

(well, i guess the dust is not visible here)

"Romans 15:4 states, 'For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope' (emphasis added)."

"there are two basic reasons God has allowed us to have the Old Testament available for study and application: first, for present instruction, and second, for future hope. God has given us this information so that our minds can learn the truth about Him and about life, and so that we will be encouraged to persevere in the future."

the training manual and my new books

START YOUR DAY RIGHT

my breakfast: hot choco, pandesal, and nutritious food for my mind and soul :)

Part 2: Xander's Month-long Birthday Celebration

This scrapbooking design customized with Smilebox

Part 1: Xander's Month-long Birthday Celebration

This scrapbook design created with Smilebox

IT WOULDN'T BE ENOUGH

june 16, 2010, this is the song of my heart

If I had all the riches this world had to give
All the comfort that it brings
Never needing anything
I could search the whole earth over far and wide
Trying to find this precious love
That was sent down from above

And it wouldn't be enough
No it wouldn't be enough
To by one splinter on the tree Jesus died on
And I couldn't pay the price
For one single drop of blood
That was shed for my salvation

If I had all the riches this world had to give
And I gave it all away
Not a penny to my name
To some beggar on life dark and lonely street
All this kindness found in me
Could not win eternity

And it wouldn't be enough
No it wouldn't be enough
To by one splinter on the tree Jesus died on
And I couldn't pay the price
For one single drop of blood
That was shed for my salvation

RESOLVING THE CRISIS

before i went to sleep last night, i sent a message to my sister telling her my state of unhappiness. this morning, she asked me why do i think i'm not happy? have i lost my joy? she reminded me that as a child of God, there would be unhappy times but deep inside, we can still find peace and joy. she asked about my quiet time, which has been unintentionally removed from my schedule. my sister also reminded me of certain struggles in life, and that though we think we have everything, we could never be truly happy here on earth. i know this is true because if we are so contented or fully satisfied here on earth, then we wouldn't yearn for heaven anymore. i was also reminded that satan may be playing with my emotions. as advised by king solomon, we should guard our hearts because it is deceitful.

to resolve the crisis, go back to the basics. quiet time. guard my heart. be still and trust God.

EMOTIONAL CRISIS

it's a brand new day, and i'm thankful for that. though i must admit there were times when i really don't want to wake up... anymore. (Lord, please don't take me yet... i'm still dealing with this emotional crisis. i hate it!)
yes, being a full-time mom is very fulfilling but can be quite overwhelming too. last night, i fell asleep with a heavy heart. i have realized i am now in a phase (well i hope this is just a phase) where nobody wants to be in. i have everything this world could give, but i am not happy.

LOVE

(this heart-shaped bread crumb photo was captured outside our room at Fairways and Bluewaters, Boracay)

love is patient, love is kind.

it does not envy, it does not boast,

it is not proud. it is not rude,

it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs.

love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

love never fails.